I was going to do it (kill myself), and the only reason I didn't was a five dollar bill. I figured I probably got it by giving some asshole a blowjob. And it really ticked me off that if i killed myself before spending it it was like I sucked him off for free.

I finally have gotten around to watching Monster after hearing so much about it at last year's academy awards and then having it sit here from Netflix for about the past month.

This is a disturbing movie. It's like watching people self destruct and spiral right in front of you. And after I watch things like this I'm kind of struck by why I watched it. It's dark and depressing, and I don't think it gives me some kind of insight or interest. Watching really messed up people spiral out of control and self destruct may be interesting, and a great thing to mine for artistic work - but I don't think it's entertaining.

That's the rub, I mostly watch movies to be entertained. I like movies that are touching while being dark and hard to watch. But this one wasn't like that. Most of the time the best you can do is root for the serial killer to get back on the path of reasonableness - but you konw she won't. So you keep watching, like a horrifying train wreck in slow motion.

It's certainly well made. I was gripped by it and didn't really stop to think about why I was watching it until the end. But now that I am thinking about it, I don't have a good answer. If you're thinking about watching it I advise you to look up what the movie's really about, then decide if you're interested in watching an excellent film about that subject matter.

'Cause that's what this is, but that doesn't mean you'll enjoy it.

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